I am mute in the silence of the night:
a rapid persecution
urban bats flying
shattering hearts
walls, windows, ceilings, roofs.

I am blind, dazzled with burning skin:
a lifetime, a shipwreck
a tsunami disguised as a mountain
a ship sinking to the bottom of the ocean,
calcinating bones
and the trees, witnesses to killings.

I burn, fade away, I become ashes
and drink the torrents
and float full of the smoke of tar
the dust: land rising as air
breeze: saltwater sea that caresses the sand.

Tombs and monuments to the Santa Muerte
on paved streets
crosses are nailed to the roadside.
Street corners are crucified by sidewalks and flowers.
On asphalt, you will find a reservoir.
Dirty dresses, blankets and hospital sheets
brag about new mattresses.

About This Poem

“This is one of the first 10 poems that I wrote for mi juaritos, naked desert 2011, written when I was 29 years old. It’s very much a scenario of a man who is anxious and suffers paranoia and an image follows up the poem. I never imagine myself as a serious poet.  I was always singing anything when taking a hot shower. I never wanted my city of Juarez were one of the most violent cities in the world. Before the drug war declared by the ex-president Felipe Calderon, right before it started, women of my border city had disappeared and were found dead. Today this has not stopped. As a man, and as a guy who was born and raised in Juarez, I was not scare, this situation did not affect me at that time. Because of the indifference of my neighbor, my teacher… (But now is different). I feel sad that I am a little bit close with my poetry to what is happening. I am very sorry for what happened in my town…”
–Edgar Javier Ulloa Lujan


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